charis-ma

2011-07-27T11:46:00.001-07:00

2011-07-26T07:45:00.001-07:00

Spread Your Wings and Fly!

2011-07-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

2011-07-24T13:41:00.001-07:00

Waterfall

2011-07-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Lookin' up

2011-07-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

A Little Something to Brighten Your Day

2011-07-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

2011-07-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

Just Ducky

2011-07-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

Behind the Clouds

2011-07-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Rachel is home! Her bus was late and she was very tired but we finally got her home! She had a great time and is filled with excitement and stories from her days in Memphis. We are all so proud of her. The leaders on the trip had nothing but good to say about Rachel and her servant spirit. Now i hope we can all learn from her...

2011-07-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

One more day to go in this long, busy week. Tomorrow Rachel comes home and our family will return to "normal". Whatever "normal" is. Around here i believe it is only a setting on my washing machine and dryer. All i do know is that we have really missed Rachel this week and look forward to her being back home.
Her first day or two back will probably be spent catching up on rest and that is okay with us. She has been a very busy young lady. We are looking forward to hearing all about it.
From the pictures i have seen of Rachel this week, i can tell she has had a good time. My favorite picture shows her with one of the ladies from the nursing home where they visited the residents there. I teared up just telling my husband about it. In the picture, Rachel stands beside the woman and both are smiling as if to say, "This is my new, special friend.".
Maybe that sounds a little corny but that's just the way i see it. And maybe God's love for us is so great that to the world it seems corny. If that is the case, i don't mind being corny myself.
Well, that's all i have for now. I've got things i would like to get done before my sweet girl gets home tomorrow and that hour is ticking closer and closer...so i am off to finish my to-do list.
Good night.

The Hills are Alive!

2011-07-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

Horsin' Around

2011-07-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

Upon the Waters

2011-07-12T06:14:00.001-07:00

All my Marbles

2011-07-11T08:01:00.000-07:00

Everything's Coming up Lilypads!

2011-07-10T12:45:00.000-07:00

There is a certain place in town where the lilypads are pretty thick and for a few brief days during the summer the blooms come out and color the view. Each year i tell myself (and anyone else who will listen) that i am going to get some pictures. Because their stay is so brief i usually miss the opportunity.
But this year is different. The moment finally presented itself that i was in town at just the right time and i actually had my camera on hand. It took a few minutes to find a place to park and a little walk was involved but the effort was so worth it.
Wouldn't you agree?

The Week Ahead

2011-07-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

As a mama, today i am feeling a mixture of sadness, pride and joy. This morning we saw Rachel off to camp. This week she and her friends from church will be serving by helping those in need. There will be so much to do; cleaning, yardwork and childcare to name a few of the known assignments. With so much to do the week should go by pretty quickly for the kids and their leaders.

On the other hand, for Jeremy, the boys and me the hours will tick by very slowly. We will miss her so much-we are already missing her. Though her absence makes it difficult for the next few days we are proud of Rachel. She is going with such excitement and wanting to help that it is hard to imagine not being proud of the young lady she is growing into.

Then there is the joy of knowing that Rachel is doing what she feels is God's will and we believe that the center of God's will is the very best place to be.

It is going to be so much fun to hear of Rachel's experience upon her return. I am sure she will be exhausted but more than anything she is going to feel a deep satisfaction knowing she has shown God's love to those who may experience so little of it in their own lives. The memories and the eternal rewards are going to be far greater than any temporary exhaustion she may feel at the end of the camp experience.

As a mama i ask everyone who reads this to pray for Rachel and her friends this week they act as the hands and feet of Jesus.

Thank you and God bless!

Let the Sun Shine Through

2011-07-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

Mimosa

2011-07-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Morning Splendor

2011-07-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

Fishing With Papa

2011-07-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

Another Day in the Garden

2011-07-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Mystery Insect

2011-07-05T13:31:00.000-07:00

Make a Splash!

2011-07-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

Pretty in Pink

2011-07-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

Little Friend

2011-07-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

Can't see the Forest for the Trees?

2011-07-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Another Day Draws to a Close

2011-06-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

Butterfly

2011-06-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

Peanut Butter and Jellyfish

2011-06-29T14:06:00.000-07:00

Under the Bridge

2011-06-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

Frozen in Time

2011-06-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

Sittin' Pretty

2011-06-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

My Heart is in Your Hands

2011-06-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

Rachel gathered the blooms off our hummingbird vine that had fallen during a previous rain. When i started taking pictures of her bouquet it struck me how much it looked like a heart.

Ta da!

2011-06-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2011-06-26T12:25:00.000-07:00

Another Morning Shot

2011-06-26T05:25:00.000-07:00

A Morning View

2011-06-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

Treasures From my Backyard

2011-06-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

2011-06-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

The seeds have been planted. Love will make it grow!

Where is God When bad Things Happen?

2011-06-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

That is the question asked today in VBS. Don't we all ask this ourselves from time to time?
The children's answer to this question is to believe that He is right there with us. And this is true.
We may not always "see" Him and we may not always "feel" Him...but He is there, providing us with what we need to get through. We often miss Him not because He has left us but because we lose sight. Our focus becomes our circumstances rather than our Father who comforts us and strengthens us. When we lose sight of Him we lose ourselves in the struggle and the storms consume us.
Jesus tells us we will have trouble in this fallen world. He also tells us He will give us peace. He says He will never leave nor forsake us.
Where is God when bad things happen? He is right where He promised He would always be, right here with us.

Thursday

2011-06-23T05:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but i am ready for the weekend. This week has been a good productive one but it has also been very busy.
Today the kids return for day 4 of VBS. I look forward to hearing all about it.
We went to a special concert for VBSers and their families last night so we didn't get to do our nightly review of the lesson. The concert was nice...Brogan was even taken up on stage with the band and boy, did he have a blast!...but i did miss our time.

Wednesday

2011-06-22T11:17:00.000-07:00

God is watering the plants today while my watering can gets a bath and some rest.

How can I see God?

2011-06-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of VBS has proven to be another day of fun and learning for the kids. Again they have come home, eager to share what they have learned. And once again i am amazed at their passion and excitement. This evening we sat down and reviewed the lesson as we did last evening. I look forward to these moments just as much as they do and we all walk away blessed.
Todays question is, "How can i see God?". The answer to the question is, "I see God through the love of others.". To illustrate, we looked at Acts 9:10-31. In this passage we see Ananias and later, Barnabas showing Saul/Paul such love as Saul proclaims the Gospel of those he once persecuted. It would probably be an understatement to say that Christians were very cautious of this man who had a reputation for wreaking havoc upon the church. They weren't so quick to accept that Saul was now one of them.
This is where Ananais and Barnabas come in. First, God sent Ananais to lay hands on Saul so that he would regain his sight. Ananais did question God at first but God persuaded him to go and he did. Later, as Saul attempted to join the disciples and they rejected him out of fear, it was Barnabas who took him and brought him before the apostles. Barnabas told them of Saul's conversion on the road to Damascus and how he since boldly proclaimed Jesus Christ. After hearing from Barnabas the apostles accepted Saul.
How often in our lives as Christians, are we asked to show love to someone we are not so sure about? Maybe it is someone we don't know so well. Or maybe it is someone who has a less than stellar reputation. Whatever the case, whoever the person, God loves them and He wants us to show His love. It usually isn't easy but it is always necessary.
We may not know what God's plan is but we can trust Him to do what is right. We can also trust Him to provide us with what we need as we need it but we must also be willing to recieve it. Am i trusting God enough to do what He is telling me to do? To love as He loves? Am i trusting Him for all my needs and am i coming to him with open arms or am i clenching my fists to beat the air in frustration?
A lot to think about as i get ready to turn in for the night...
But questions i truly want to answer honestly. I want to trust Him with ALL my heart.
I want others to see God through me.

Monday

2011-06-20T19:07:00.000-07:00

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

Today was the first day of Vacation Bible School for Rachel and her brothers. It seems they had a really good time but more importantly, they learned some valuable lessons about God and who He is. I enjoyed listening as they shared from their Bible story for today: Acts 9:1-9, and look forward to hearing more as they return for more truth and fond memories.
Their memory verse for the week is 1 Timothy 4:12(cited above) and they already have it memorized. Tonight i had them write it down and we discussed what it meant to "be and an example in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity". Whether they realize it or not, i learn just as much from them as they learn from me...maybe even more at times. I am truly grateful for my children and the zeal they have for God. I pray that their passion continues to grow as they mature.
And i thank God for VBS. It may last a week but it leaves an impression that lasts a lifetime!

2011-06-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

"Once there was a tree..."~The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

Psalm 121

2011-06-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

I lift my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
your Protector will not slumber.
Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep.
The LORD protects you;
the LORD is a shelter right by your side.
The sun will not strike you by day
or the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all harm;
He will protect your life.
The LORD will protect your coming
and going
both now and forever.

2011-06-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

Smile!

2011-06-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

Good Morning

2011-06-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

I found this bloom this morning. It is the first of my clematis to make its debut. I like to think of it as God greeting me upon waking from a night of rest. My morning ritual these days is to take my breakfast and quiet time on the patio. From there i water my plants and enjoy my tiny, growing garden.
I thank God for this time and for the beautiful setting He has prepared for me.

Have You Seen my "Kids"?

2011-06-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

Remembering the Cicada

2011-06-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Now that they are gone i would like to take a moment to remember the cicada. Of all the haters, i was not one. In fact, i rather enjoyed their little stay. My ears delighted in their serenade. I was actually fascinated by those big red eyes and beautifully detailed wings!
Yes, i do miss that interesting insect. For now i will admire them in the pictures that i took and marvel at their at their design. Then in another thirteen years, i know they will be back and i will be watching and waiting.
See you later, cicada!

2010-08-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

"Stay, stay at home my heart and rest, homekeeping hearts are happiest. For those who wander, know not where, are full of trouble and full of care. To stay at home is best." ~Longfellow

Apology

2010-08-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

Now what was it i was saying in an earlier post about butterflies?

I believe i stated that the butterfly was not an easy subject to photograph and even went as far as to call the butterfly a tease.

Well i now feel the need to apologize to the butterfly. As you can clearly see as you scroll down the page here that i have quite a few pictures of butterflies!

It seems the beautiful winged creatures are everywhere these days. Playing on the breeze, lighting on flowers, fence posts, rocks and anything else it can find and hanging out near the creek; one does not have to look far to find a butterfly or even a bunch of butterflies together.

They have kept me busily running around with my camera in tow and snapping shots as i get the opportunity.

That is why i feel the need to tell the butterfly i am sorry and i promise to be more careful with my words in the future. I also thank you for still allowing me to stalk you relentlessly while you flutter about.

Thank you!

A Thought for the day

2010-08-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

If we are to truly make a difference in our world we are to be different.

2010-08-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

School is Back in Session!

2010-08-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school at Front Porch Academy!
And though i had hoped to have pictures to share and despite the fact that we got off to a later start than anticipated it was still a successful beginning.
This year we will be working through "Rome to the Reformation" from My Father's World. Though today was a "light" day, intended to ease us into the school year we still learned quite a bit.
First, we went through the Roman numerals-both the characters and names for numbers 1-10, 20-100 and 1,000. Then we learned the legend of Romulus and Remus along with some other Roman history.
Tomorrow will be a little more involved as we continue to gradually beef up our schedule. On the agenda are: "How the Bible Came to us"(Bible History), Roman Lands Today(map) and "Inside the Human Body(science). I will also be reading to them about the Roman Republic and we can not forget math and writing!
Whew! It really looks to be an exciting year already.
My prayer is that even as our enthusiasm ebbs and flows we will continue to put our best foot forward.
With that thought in mind i am going over our material for tomorrow and thanking God that i am able to teach my children at home.

Another Backyard Find

2010-07-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

We found this little critter on our tomato plants. It appears to be a caterpillar. We are guessing those are eggs that cover his body.

Just another interesting discovery from our backyard!

Psalm 145:17-18

2010-07-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

"The LORD is righteous in all His ways,

Gracious in all His works.

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,

To all who call upon Him in truth."

~Psalm 145:17-18

The truth of God is that He is always righteous and always gracious.

The truth of God is that He is always faithful.

The truth of God is He is Truth.

In the Quiet

2010-07-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

Butterflies are fun to watch but not so easy to photograph. That is where patience and stillness come into play.

To get this picture i had to sit for some time and make very little movement. In time the butterflies came around-attracted by a small puddle of water. I was practically holding my breath the whole time, making every effort to make as little sound as possible. It was only after they had gotten comfortable and frolicked for a while that i started taking pictures.

As you can see, the effort paid off.

This is true of my quiet time in the mornings as well. It isn't always easy to get up in the morning while everyone else is still sleeping, even more difficult when i haven't slept so well the night before or have a big day ahead. But it is always worth it!

It is not always easy to sit quietly and put away distractions long enough to sit and listen to God. But when i am still it is much easier to hear God when He speaks and it is so worth the effort.

The more time i spend quietly with God the more my faith grows and the more my faith grows the more my patience grows. With this growth comes the eagerness to get up in the morning and spend time with the Lover of my soul. After my time with Him i am much better equipped to face the day and handle whatever comes my way because i have invited my Lord to spend the day with me. I realize i can not make it without Him.

It is also in the quiet moments throughout the day that He continues to teach me-like those moments when i am watching butterflies!

The Butterfly

2010-07-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

What is it?

2010-07-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

Jeremy found this whatchamacallit on the door to his shop the other day. Interesting looking creature and we see a lot of interesting critters around here but i had never seen this one before.

What is it?

Does anyone know?

The Week Before School

2010-07-27T05:37:00.000-07:00

It is the week before school starts and my heart is pumping with anticipation, excitement and nervousness. My desk is a reflection of all those emotions as i try to organize books, supplies and other odds and ends. One wrong move and i fear everything may come crashing down.
This will be my second day of maneuvering through the obstacle course. My goal is to get it done today before someone sneezes and causes the dreaded avalanche.
My husband and i are hoping to do some re-arranging and painting in the near future because the walls are in real need of some attention and a new layout might make better use of the area we work in. I also have to admit i would like to see some more color and a change of scenery!
All this work will definitely add to the challenge but i think we are up to it. With a little help from everyone it shouldn't be to bad.
Yeah, that is what i keep telling myself anyway.
Another welcome addition this year will be a new air conditioner!
One of the drawbacks of having a room with windows across the front and one side is that it can get pretty hot at times. In fact, that is one reason it has taken me as long as it has to finish my work in here-it has just been to hot to bear for too long.
The new curriculum is expected to arrive in the next few days. It is always an exciting day when new books and materials arrive; almost like Christmas.
What we already have here i have been reading and refreshing myself on and the more i do the more my excitement grows.
Of course, there is still the run into town for last minutes school supplies and i am not kidding when i say i am really looking forward to that. Yes, i am an office/school supply junkie!
Well, i have spent enough time talking about what i am going to do, now it is time to start doing it. Who knows? I just might have some before and after photos to share before too long...

Dragonfly

2010-07-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Dragonflies are easier to photograph than butterflies and hummingbirds-they like to tease. But the dragonfly seems drawn to the camera and will let me take picture after picture. I have even had them light on my hand in the creek and they will sit as long as you let them. With those big ol' eyes it seems they are studying you and even listening as you go on about how beautiful they are!

Maybe flattery can get you somewhere...

Memories of Summertime

2010-07-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

So my plans to paint this summer have fallen by the wayside. Blame it on the creek and the swim hole.
The kids and i have been enjoying the water almost every day, whenever the weather and schedules have permitted. While most people work in a garden i work on the creek, trimming branches and cutting weeds. My efforts have been rewarded with a beautiful place to spend many hours and make many precious memories with family and friends. I cannot complain.
My watercolors are in the same exact spot i left them earlier in the spring. They will be there when the time is right and i can start painting. Maybe then i can paint from memory butterflies, dragonflies and lazy days on the creek enjoying God's creation and the company of loved ones.
Those will be the best paintings because they will remind me of what awaits me next year and fill me with hope during winter's cold.

The Present

2010-05-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

There is no time like the present to say, "I love you".

No time like the present to show mercy and compassion.

There is no time like the present to forgive and to ask forgiveness.

No time like the present to let go of the past.

Now is the time to start being who God created you to be,

because the present is a gift He has given to open and let His love light the way to the future He has planned for you.

Funny Face

2010-05-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes even in beauty there is humor.

A Prayer for Restoration

2010-05-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

Where is my faith? Where is my peace? Where is my joy? And where is my hope? All i really want, all i truly need can only be found in You. Apart from You i have no faith, no peace, no joy and i have no hope.

Why am i so fearful? Troubled? Downcast? Why do i feel so anxious?

Instead of running to You i find myself running from You.

I ask myself why i do this when i know that anything i put before You will only rob me of my joy and steal my peace. You want to restore these things to me and revive in me a calm heart and quiet spirit.

Still i find myself running...running away from You.

All i have to do is call Your name and You are there but the distractions are too much for me to bear. I wasn't meant to bear them alone but i keep trying...and it is a losing battle and i know it.

Finally i find myself, weary from the struggle. So tired of doing on my own-only to fail again.

Lord, i am calling on You now. My voice is weak but i know You hear me just the same.

Please lift me from this pit i have dug for myself and put my feet back on solid ground.

I need You, Lord. The battle is Yours and i am Yours too.

2010-05-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

Take my hand, Lord, and lead me through this day, step by step. Remind me that I cannot do everything I wish nor do any of it perfectly. Only you are perfect, and only with your help can I do my best. Help me to remember to ask for that help. -Avery Brooke

Looking Ahead

2010-05-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

With the end of the school year only a couple of weeks away the kids and i are anticipating all the activites planned for this summer.
We will be starting the season with VBS and church camp. Then there is art camp, field trips and play dates with friends. There other activities we hope to participate in like reading programs, movies at the drive-in and bike rides in the park.
While these things are all good and i am really looking forward to all of them i do intend to start each day in quiet time and prayer. In the hours that the children are in VBS and other endeavors i plan to take advantage of the peace and quiet to spend time in meditation and reflection.
I am missing creative time as well. So much of my time in the last year has been spent running and doing. So little of my time has been spent just listening to God. It is time to slow down and change that. God is the One who inspires creativity and gives peace. Time without Him saps creativity and destroys peace.
What i desire more than anything else right now is to spend my time drawing closer to God, enjoying my relationship with Him and with others He has blessed my life with. In doing these things i know it is going to be a really great summer and an awesome time of growth in Him. I pray that i will stick to this plan and continue through every season of my life.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Why is Forgiveness so Difficult?

2010-05-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

This question was posed on the Christian radio station that i listen to in the van. I really wanted to hear the answers of the viewers who called in but unfortunately i reached my destination before i got that chance.

It really got me thinking though and days later i am still thinking about it. Here are my thoughts:

I believe forgiveness is difficult because our memories come so easily, especially when we have been hurt or offended. Regardless of how much time may have passed, when we start remembering the emotions and the pain, whether it was physical or psychological, the memory seems so fresh. We may even bear scars-some heal, some don't. Some can be seen, others are buried inside. Whatever the pain, whatever the scars they are both very real.

Another reason i believe forgiveness is so difficult is that we confuse forgiveness with approval and we think that by forgiving someone we are condoning what they did. The fear is that the offense will be forgotten and justice will not be served.

For what it is worth that is my two cents. This is something that continues to make me think. I am sure i could say so much more about forgiveness and the difficulty of forgiving but i will just wrap it up by saying that without God's help forgiveness is impossible.

I hope to share more in the future...

Psalm 119:2

2010-05-16T16:47:00.000-07:00

Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart.

Ducks in a row

2010-05-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

Honeysuckle!

2010-05-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

A little white here, a little yellow there;

A sweet scent fills the air.

Everywhere i look it's honeysuckle i see!

Pluck it from the vine,

Taste the sweet nectar...

Aah, the taste of honey!

Should I or Shouldn't I?

2010-05-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have been considering for some time doing a food journal. From what i have heard from others it has been helpful for them.
It wouldn't be the first time i have tried this. My first attempts at doing a food journal were not successful at all.
My problem is i already know i eat way more than i should and i don't see where keeping a journal will actually help. Journaling my thoughts and prayers has always helped but when it comes to journaling my eating habits i tend to become more frustrated and give up after a few entries. My other problem is i tend to be a bit of a perfectionist and can be so anal about how i do things.
Still i do feel i need to give this another try. Making excuses has gotten me nowhere.
If anyone reading this has ever kept a food journal i would love to hear from you. Guess i could just use a little encouragement right now.

A Thank you for Mother's Day

2010-05-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

I just have to brag on and thank Jeremy, Rachel, Brogan, Reece and Sawyer for making my Mother's Day extra special. They spoiled me real good by giving me the new Francine Rivers book, "Her Mother's Hope", taking me out to eat and cleaning the van out.

I appreciate all they did for me and all they do for me day to day.

God has truly blessed me with a loving husband and children.

I love you all so much!

In Soccer and in Life

2010-05-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

Rachel and her brothers enjoy playing soccer. They enjoy the competition and getting to know their fellow team mates. They really like their coaches too. That is a really good thing considering Reece and Sawyer are being coached by their Daddy.

With all they appreciate about soccer, there a few things they do not like. One of those things is the attitudes of some players. For some reason there are those who feel the need to tell everyone how good they are and boast of their percieved skill.

Another thing the kids do not appreciate is bad sportsmanship. It is such an ugly thing to witness whether it is from the "winning" team or the team that does not win.

After discussing these things with Rachel and watching her play i had these two thoughts and not only do they pertain to soccer and other sports but they relate to life as well. And here are my thoughts as i believe God gave them to me: First, it is not the ones who tell us how good they are that we are to watch but it is the ones who let their skill speak for them.

Second, the winner is not necessarily the one who scores the most points but the one who plays with integrity and class.

How often do we encounter those who can be so prideful and arrogant? Those who delight in telling us how good they are? We encounter them in sports, at work, school and in other situations throughout life.

If we are not careful we will allow them to intimidate us and suck the enjoyment out the things we usually enjoy. I can honestly say that this has happened to me in times past but as i shared this insight with Rachel i promised myself that i would remember it too.

Gratitude Beats a Bad Attitude

2010-05-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

For over a week now our Internet access has been spotty, to say the least. Most days we have had no service at all. Other days it has been extremely slow.

My first reaction to this issue was to become frustrated, then to get upset. None of this accomplished anything so i just learned to accept it though i still didn't like it. The thought finally occurred to me that things could be so much worse.

I still had my health, a roof over my head and a loving family. To let something like the lack of Internet service get me down was just ridiculous. I was being spoiled and ungrateful. The truth of the matter is my blessings far out weigh my petty inconveniences and gripes. How pathetic that it takes insignificant matters such as this to make me realize the significance of God's grace toward me.

Jeremy called to find out what the problem was and it turned out to something with our tower. He can explain it much better than i can. I just repeat what he tells me. Since talking with the right people the situation has improved though there are times when it is still problematic.

Well, we have done all we know to do at this point. For now there is nothing else we can do. But there is something i can do about my attitude and that is to take my thoughts captive and submit them to the authority of Christ and stop worrying about things i have no control over.

Maybe it isn't always the easiest thing to do but it is the very best thing to do and something i will be working on this week.

In the Storm

2010-05-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

It has been said that in every life the rain must fall,

but do not be so distracted by the thunder that you miss the call.

Listen very closely and you will hear,

God is telling you He is always near.

When the clouds start to gather and your skies are turning gray,

remember He will never stray.

Whether in the calm or in the storm,

God is right there with you.

He will never leave nor forsake you.

A Prayer

2010-05-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

This morning i am fighting a losing battle with distraction and my thoughts are running amok.

Please help me to gather my thoughts and bring each one to You, Lord!

My days are busy. Things seem so chaotic at times. My appetite is great so i fill it with food when what i am really starved for is more of You.

It's not that You have left me, Your faithfulness to me is never ending. But i have neglected my time with You. You are always there but my mind is in so many places and my hours are jammed with things to do and places to go.

Why is it when we need the most to slow down that we have convinced ourselves we have too much to get done?

I had hoped to end this with all the right answers but now i can see it is just going to take more time. And my time is what You want. For it is where i spend most of my time that my heart is. Right now that is a pretty scary thought.

Father, You have given me all that i have and that includes time. Help me to be a better steward of all You have given me.

Strength in Struggle

2010-04-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Until last night it had been almost 9 months since my last post. Those months have been filled with all kinds activity pertaining to school, church and other pursuits. In some ways the days have flown by while in other ways it seemed the days would never end. Along the way i have learned some things about myself and witnessed the faithfulness of God-even when i have been less than faithful.

With only a few more weeks left of school i am looking forward to a break from class and studies. This will be the first summer in many years that i will not be teaching VBS. I will miss it but i do think i need the break. There are many things i want to work on in myself before starting a new school year. These are things that really need to be worked on and time needs to be taken to ensure that my best efforts are made.

I thank God for being so patient with me and lovingly showing me the weaknesses and hinderances that continually cause me to struggle. Only with His help can i effectively deal with these issues and only as i deal with them can i be of service to God and others.

In the days and weeks that follow i hope to document my progress in the hopes of encouraging others who may be struggling with similar issues. However God uses me and my story i know it will be for the best. Already He has used to encourage others who deal with depression, anxiety and perfectionism. So i am really looking forward to seeing how He uses me and strengthens me as i confess to Him and others my struggles with an eating disorder.

My hope is that whoever reads this will be strengthened and encouraged as God strengthens and encourages me.

Singing With the Birds

2010-04-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

I really did not want to get up this morning. The room was dark, the skies were gray, the rain was falling and it was quite chilly. My first thought was to pull the covers up and put the pillow over my head. My mind was racing with excuses why it was wrong to be up at such an hour. Everyone else was sleeping so i should be too.
Then that is when i heard it...
Birds singing! It started with one, then others joined in.
It was as if they were singing for God and wanted me to join in too.
The rain would not dampen their spirits and the gray skies would not darken their view. From tree branches and soaring through the air the birds sang with much enthusiasm.
For a moment i sat in silence and just listened. Then i started to sing too.
What the birds reminded me is that each day is a gift from the Father above and every gift He gives is given out of His great love.
So the next time you hear the birds sing, remember what i have just shared with you and sing praises to the God who loves you!

She's Growing up!

2009-08-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

It doesn't seem long ago but according to the calendar it will be ten years tomorrow. Tonight my little girl went to bed a nine year old, in the morning she will awake a ten year old!

As we all sleep the hour will strike midnight and at eleven minutes past the midnight hour, Rachel will enter her tenth year of life. While we will not stay up to commemorate the exact hour we do plan to enjoy the day and the rest of the weekend.

Tomorrow night we will celebrate with friends. Slumber party!! So we could possibly be up tomorrow night. You know how girls can be when they get together...

Saturday night we will celebrate with Jeremy's parents. Of course her cousins will be there and Gigi will be making the cake.

We hope to make it to my parent's on Sunday. I'll be making the cake then and there will be more cousins to visit with.

The next few days look to be busy ones but i know a certain little girl (who really isn't so little anymore) who is really looking forward friends, family, ice cream and birthday cake. I also know a certain mama who is looking forward to watching her daughter enjoy her big day and there may be some tears in her eyes as she remembers the little girl and anticipates the future of this beautiful ten year old while savoring every moment God gives us together...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL!!!

I LOVE YOU!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

A Little Honesty

2009-08-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

For three weeks now little else has occupied my mind besides homeschooling, which we start next week and Rachel's tenth birthday, which is Friday.
Both events fill me with excitement and anticipation. Mixed in with these emotions is anxiety as i try to pace myself and not overwhelm myself with crazy, unrealistic expectations.
The past few days i have been battling depression and tears. My usual reaction is to isolate myself but i know tomorrow i will be meeting with the women of my CR group. The thought frightens me and comforts me all at the same time. If it weren't for this beautiful group of women it would be so easy to shut the doors and stay home tomorrow but because i am the facilitator of the group they do depend on me to be there.
I love seeing everyone each week. I love hearing their stories and experiences. Even sharing my own "stuff" feels good. Honesty with people you trust does wonders for the heart and mind.
These meetings are the highlight of my week!
I really admire and respect these women. They encourage me. As i watch them grow i am strengthened. I think of them often as i struggle and i know if they can perservere with God's help then so can i.
I love them all like sisters.
So, tonight as i type this i am feeling much better about the junk of my life because i know i am not alone. I have my family, friends and God on my side.
The going may get tough but my God will never leave me and He will even put others to walk beside me.
Thank You, precious, loving Father!

2009-08-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

I asked for strength that I might achieve;

I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things;

I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy;

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I had asked for,

but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

-An Unknown Confederate Soldier

Be Still

2009-07-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalm 46:10

This picture of Rachel and Brogan is one of my absolute favorites. It was taken soon after we moved here and we were exploring the area.

What i love about this photograph is that they are both being still and they are not posing for the camera as they usually do. It is as if they are lost in the moment and just enjoying the beauty that surrounds them.

Every time i see this i am reminded of Psalm 46:10. The words, "Be still", speak boldly to me.

How is it that seems so simple can be so difficult for me to practice? Even when the house is quiet and no one else is around i busy myself with mindless chores that really don't have to be done but the thought of being still and listening gets me thinking of activity i could be doing. Busyness is something i know all too well. Stillness and quietness...not so well.

I am praying God will change this about me.

Greener Pastures

2009-07-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

Where i live there are many pastures. From my van i admire the beautiful green grass in these pastures and yes, some are greener than others.

But a thought occurs to me as i drive by, "It must take a lot of manure to make that grass so green." And this is true in my life as well.

When i see others with beautiful homes, nice cars, the best that money can buy and all those other things i think i want, it helps to remember they have their messes too. No life is without them. But it is so easy to look at others greener pastures and envy what we see there while what lies in that grass, hidden from our view would change our worldly perspective.

Maybe then we would be more content with our own pastures as we try to make the most of what we have been given. Just let us not become so content that we do not reach across the fence to those on the other side...even if their grass is greener!

Wings

2009-07-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

God whispers on butterfly wings

and tells me He has given me wings too.

With my wings He says to fly,

and color the world around me

with faith, hope and love!

Saturday at Papa and Gigi's

2009-07-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

My Mystery Flower

2009-07-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

I am hoping someone can help me out here. The picture above was taken in my backyard but i have never noticed this flower before. So i am wondering if it's not a weed. If it is a weed it is one of the prettiest weeds i have ever seen. There were two more like it close by.

What caught my eye was the detail and the color. It is such an interesting flower. It seems to radiate and as you can see, i was not the only one who was drawn in. The bee lit on the flower while i was taking the pictures.

I am thinking i might sketch this and paint it in watercolor.

Until i know more about it i will call it my "mystery flower". If anyone can help me i would greatly appreciate it.

My Feet on a Rock

2009-07-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Psalm 40:2

Inspiration happens in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected moments. God never ceases to amaze! While out taking pictures with the children, i had found something interesting on the creek rock that i thought would make a good picture but i ended up instead getting a picture of Rachel’s feet. At first i was disappointed but upon closer observation, God brought Psalm 40:2 to mind. Wow!! God does have a way of getting His point across. And sometimes what seems to be disappointment may actually be a blessing in disguise!

Nothing...Absolutely Nothing!

2009-07-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans8:38-39

As well as i think i know myself-past and present-there is One who knows me like absolutely no one else can. He knows my past, present and future. Even in His unlimited knowledge of me He loves me still. God’s love for me is perfect and extravagant. He lavishes His love upon me!

Still, i doubt. Things i have said and done come back to haunt me. When these memories play in my head my heart begins to question how God could still love me. Somehow i can see how God might love others but not me.

It all boils down to pride in my heart. Yes, pride. At first i tried to deny it but the truth stared me in the eyes until i could deny it no more. In my pride i convinced myself that i was beyond God’s love and grace. I was basically calling Him a liar.

Now, as God has been showing me my selfish pride He has done it out of His faithful love. I don’t know how many times in the past few days He has brought me to Romans 8:38&39 but i have learned that when God continually brings certain Scripture or thoughts to my attention i better listen closely! And i am so glad i did because as i read and meditate on Romans 8:38&39 i too am convinced that NOTHING can seperate me from God’s unfailing love. Not even my failure or my foolish pride-NOTHING!!

I See the Moon

2009-07-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

I see the moon shining bright, through the darkness of the night. But if it weren’t for the sun there would be no light. As it glows in the black sky, it takes the radiance of the sun on high to reveal the moons true beauty to the beholding eye. What disaster would occur and devestation would concur if the moon left the way and from the sun did stray! I see the moon shining bright and hear the lesson God is teaching me tonight. In life, Jesus is the Son and the Light and in this world is darkness. It is by His power that my life can shine. The glory is His and not mine. Jesus is the truth and He tells me that beauty is more than meets the eye, and as i allow others to see the flaws in me they will see how great the Son’s power can be. Jesus is the Way. With Him i must stay or darkness will fill my days. I see the moon shining bright and thank God for brining to my sight this illustration of the Son’s awesome light and how i am to be a reflection that others might also see.

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’” John 14:6

Isaiah 40:21-31

2009-07-15T12:27:00.000-07:00

As i had mentioned earlier, Rachel and i have been trying to decide on another passage of Scripture to pore over and memorize in the next few days. I was leaning toward something in Isaiah but hadn't said anything to Rachel yet. So when she suggested Isaiah 40:21-31 i knew it was meant to be.

Isaiah always has been one of my most favorite books of the Bible. Like Psalms, Isaiah is filled with so much wisdom and imagery. It is a book i would love to study more closely and know better. That is one of the many neat things about the Bible, every book offers so much and if we will only take the time to read a little at a time we are all the better for it.

Where the past two passages we have learned recently were 6 verses a piece, this passage from Isaiah is 11 verses-almost twice as long as previous passages! It may take me twice as long but that is okay. It is time well spent and it is always so fascinating to see how God uses it and illustrates it in my life.

And now i give you, Isaiah 30:21-31:

"Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

Has it not been told you from the beginning?

Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?

It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,

And its inhabitant are like grasshoppers,

Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,

And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.

He brings princes to nothing;

He makes the judges of the earth useless.

Scarcely shall they be planted,

Scarcely shall they be sown,

Scarcely shall their stock take root in the earth,

When He will also blow on them,

And they will wither,

And the whirlwind will take them away like stubble.

'To whom then will you liken Me,

Or to whom shall I be equal?' says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes on high,

And see who has created these things,

Who brings out their host by number;

He calls them by name,

By the greatness of His might

And the strength of His power;

Not one is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,

And speak, O Israel:

'My way is hidden from the Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth,

Neither faints nor is weary.

His understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the weak,

And to those who give have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary ,

And the young men shall utterly fall,

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up on wings like eagles,

They shall run away and not be weary,

They shall walk away and not faint."

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

Spiritual Fruitiness

2009-07-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

“He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall propser.” Psalm 1:3

Sometimes i can be a bad apple, sometimes a real lemon. On a good day you might say i am peachy keen. Good or bad i am bearing fruit of some kind. If i am to be known by my “fruitiness” let it be the fruits of the Spirit that they see in me.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22

What's Next?

2009-07-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

With Psalm 23 hidden in our hearts, Rachel and i are now ready to decide on our next passage of Scripture. We hope to have that decided within the next few days and when we have i will post it here.

Let me just say, i am really enjoying this! I love writing the Word, meditating on it and visualizing it. Rachel and i love reciting for each other and helping each other when help is needed. This has been a wonderful bonding experience for us.

God's Word is so rich in so many ways. The more you get into it, the more you get out of it and the more you long for it. I am really looking forward to memorizing our next passage.

I hope you will stay tuned...

Help me, Lord!

2009-07-14T15:32:00.000-07:00

What is it that holds me back,

standing in the shadows,

at the edge of the light?

Is it fear that paralyzes,

doubt that denies

or pride that defies?

Whatever it may be,

Lord, help me to see,

Your love is greater than these.

Your faithfulness is deeper than the seas.

Your grace has given me life,

Now You want to end my strife.

Lord, help my unbelief,

That keeps me in constant grief!