I should be in bed right now but i find myself lingering in the classroom, watching lightning light up the sky and listening to thunder rumble. This is what i call, "God's Light Show". It can be both frightening and beautiful at the same time. I guess that is part of my fascination with thunderstorms.
It reminds me of how powerful and awesome God is. He is also beautiful and majestic. Because of who He is and our very limited knowledge of Him we are sometimes frigthened by Him. But as we come to know Him through His Word and through prayer, as we earnestly seek to draw closer to God we gain a love and respect for Him that drives away ALL our fears.
I really should be going to bed right now but before i do will listen to the rain falling against the windows and on the roof. Then i will say a prayer of thanksgiving to the God who not only teaches me through His creation but who is also with me through the storms.
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Facing the Fear
,
The old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for you just might get it." Well, the same can be said for prayer. "Be careful what you pray for you just might get it." This is so true for me right now. My prayer has been that God would help me confront my fears and with His help work through them. Since i have been saying this prayer God has continually been calling me out of my comfort zone. In one of my earlier posts i shared how fear has controlled me for so long. Since sharing that God has showed me just how much control i have given fear in my life. My first reaction is regret, then shame and then anger. With all these emotions building up inside i have turned to another old "frienemy", food. Prayer has become more difficult. Most days all i know to say is, "Help me, God." For awhile i believed God was cleaning His hands of me and turning me over to the sin i want so badly want to be freed of but lack the courage and faith to give over to Him. God is proving me wrong there. Instead, He is showing me how badly He disires my freedom as well. God has never stopped caring. He has never stopped listening and God has never stopped loving me. His love for me has never been based on my love for me or anyone else's love for me. What God is doing is preparing me and allowing me to see just how destructive my sin really is and in the process teaching me to lean on Him. I have tried so hard all my life to be strong on my own and hidden from everyone how insecure and frightened i really am. This has only made me weaker and more vulnerable. Now God is telling me to take down the walls and remove the masks. It isn't easy but He is getting me through. God is working on me. He tells me i am worth the time and He is redeeming the time i have wasted. In just the past couple of days God has called me to share with a close friend and with someone else i am only beginning to know,someone who has reached out to me and shown friendship despite the fact she hardly knows me. For these women i am very thankful and it is God to whom i am most grateful. No, He has not given up on me. And He asks that i do not give up either. Whatever He calls me to do in overcoming my fears it is by His strength i can do it!
The old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for you just might get it." Well, the same can be said for prayer. "Be careful what you pray for you just might get it." This is so true for me right now. My prayer has been that God would help me confront my fears and with His help work through them. Since i have been saying this prayer God has continually been calling me out of my comfort zone. In one of my earlier posts i shared how fear has controlled me for so long. Since sharing that God has showed me just how much control i have given fear in my life. My first reaction is regret, then shame and then anger. With all these emotions building up inside i have turned to another old "frienemy", food. Prayer has become more difficult. Most days all i know to say is, "Help me, God." For awhile i believed God was cleaning His hands of me and turning me over to the sin i want so badly want to be freed of but lack the courage and faith to give over to Him. God is proving me wrong there. Instead, He is showing me how badly He disires my freedom as well. God has never stopped caring. He has never stopped listening and God has never stopped loving me. His love for me has never been based on my love for me or anyone else's love for me. What God is doing is preparing me and allowing me to see just how destructive my sin really is and in the process teaching me to lean on Him. I have tried so hard all my life to be strong on my own and hidden from everyone how insecure and frightened i really am. This has only made me weaker and more vulnerable. Now God is telling me to take down the walls and remove the masks. It isn't easy but He is getting me through. God is working on me. He tells me i am worth the time and He is redeeming the time i have wasted. In just the past couple of days God has called me to share with a close friend and with someone else i am only beginning to know,someone who has reached out to me and shown friendship despite the fact she hardly knows me. For these women i am very thankful and it is God to whom i am most grateful. No, He has not given up on me. And He asks that i do not give up either. Whatever He calls me to do in overcoming my fears it is by His strength i can do it!
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