A Thought for the day

If we are to truly make a difference in our world we are to be different.

Why is Forgiveness so Difficult?

This question was posed on the Christian radio station that i listen to in the van. I really wanted to hear the answers of the viewers who called in but unfortunately i reached my destination before i got that chance.

It really got me thinking though and days later i am still thinking about it. Here are my thoughts:

I believe forgiveness is difficult because our memories come so easily, especially when we have been hurt or offended. Regardless of how much time may have passed, when we start remembering the emotions and the pain, whether it was physical or psychological, the memory seems so fresh. We may even bear scars-some heal, some don't. Some can be seen, others are buried inside. Whatever the pain, whatever the scars they are both very real.

Another reason i believe forgiveness is so difficult is that we confuse forgiveness with approval and we think that by forgiving someone we are condoning what they did. The fear is that the offense will be forgotten and justice will not be served.

For what it is worth that is my two cents. This is something that continues to make me think. I am sure i could say so much more about forgiveness and the difficulty of forgiving but i will just wrap it up by saying that without God's help forgiveness is impossible.

I hope to share more in the future...

Gratitude Beats a Bad Attitude

For over a week now our Internet access has been spotty, to say the least. Most days we have had no service at all. Other days it has been extremely slow.

My first reaction to this issue was to become frustrated, then to get upset. None of this accomplished anything so i just learned to accept it though i still didn't like it. The thought finally occurred to me that things could be so much worse.

I still had my health, a roof over my head and a loving family. To let something like the lack of Internet service get me down was just ridiculous. I was being spoiled and ungrateful. The truth of the matter is my blessings far out weigh my petty inconveniences and gripes. How pathetic that it takes insignificant matters such as this to make me realize the significance of God's grace toward me.

Jeremy called to find out what the problem was and it turned out to something with our tower. He can explain it much better than i can. I just repeat what he tells me. Since talking with the right people the situation has improved though there are times when it is still problematic.

Well, we have done all we know to do at this point. For now there is nothing else we can do. But there is something i can do about my attitude and that is to take my thoughts captive and submit them to the authority of Christ and stop worrying about things i have no control over.

Maybe it isn't always the easiest thing to do but it is the very best thing to do and something i will be working on this week.

A Prayer

This morning i am fighting a losing battle with distraction and my thoughts are running amok.

Please help me to gather my thoughts and bring each one to You, Lord!

My days are busy. Things seem so chaotic at times. My appetite is great so i fill it with food when what i am really starved for is more of You.



It's not that You have left me, Your faithfulness to me is never ending. But i have neglected my time with You. You are always there but my mind is in so many places and my hours are jammed with things to do and places to go.



Why is it when we need the most to slow down that we have convinced ourselves we have too much to get done?



I had hoped to end this with all the right answers but now i can see it is just going to take more time. And my time is what You want. For it is where i spend most of my time that my heart is. Right now that is a pretty scary thought.



Father, You have given me all that i have and that includes time. Help me to be a better steward of all You have given me.

The Calling

Here i am again. Right back where i started. A place i never wanted to return. Yet i am the one who returned. It was my choice to turn from Your way and step out on my own. Now my walk has become a stumble and the road has turned to mud. My feet of clay sink deeper and deeper into the mush and slime. Though the trip wearies me so and i know it doesn’t have to be this way, i trudge along anyway. Pride and unbelief weigh me down, making me sink deeper into the miry ground.

I hear You calling my name but the tears in my eyes sting and remind me it was my folly that got me in this mess. Covered in this mud that is my shame, i doubt that i could ever be in Your presence again. As these thoughts fill my mind another thought comes. Only this thought does not condemn but it gives me hope and restores my faith. No, this isn’t my thought at all-it is Your voice that i hear!

You tell me that You knew the choices i would make and the wrong turns i would take. You knew the day would come when my heart would stray til i became painfully aware that nothing else i pursue could ever take the place of You. When i could no longer bear the pain and there was nowhere else to turn You would take me back with arms wide open. Because of Your great love for me You allowed me to stray but You have never taken Your eyes off of me. Now You are calling me back. From my marshy pit i cry, “Father, frogive me for my rebellious pride that has brought me to this awful place. Bring me back to Your embrace and keep me at Your side!”.

Already i feel my strength returning as You lift me from the mud and set my feet on solid ground. Thank You, most precious Heavenly Father!

Distractions

The evidence of distraction is showing in my journal these days. Many days i have written nothing at all. Other days my writing is incomplete. Evidence of distraction is showing in other places as well. Perhaps the most obvious to everyone are the baskets of laundry that dot the dining room like a small mountain range. The clothes are clean, they just need to be folded and put in their proper places. This is not what i anticipated when Jeremy and i decided that i would be a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama. Niether did i anticipate the long, drawn out process of home remodeling. There are other distractions too, but the remodel is probably the biggest at this time and it is the one that affects the whole family most of all. Right now there are parts of our house that look like a winter wonderland but it is not snow that covers our walls and floors. It is sheetrock dust. Not only is this dust white like snow, it accumalates like snow and covers anything that is not covered. In fact, i have found dust in places i thought were protected. Wherever there is dust there is sneezing and dry eyes. I don't know if this has caused the rawness in my throat but i am sure it has contributed. All this coughing and sneezing has provided another distraction. This has also tired me to the point that i am ready to get in bed after lunch most days. Even though i have been going to bed earlier at night getting up in the morning is proving to be a challenge. The bed is so warm, the air is so cool and i am so tired. The perpetual to-do list in my head reminds me that i have no time for loafing, that i need to get rolling. Once i am out of bed i do have my quiet time even if it is only 10 minutes and from there it is breakfast and a few minutes of Wii fit then a shower. School consumes the next few hours until lunch. After lunch is prepared, eaten and cleared away it is housework, laundry and errand running. The day goes so quickly and there is no slowing down. The kids are in bed at 9 and for an hour i try to unwind by reading or praying but then there are those distractions again. Endless thoughts of what happened today and what needs to be done tomorrow. Distractions! They come in so many forms and steal so much of my time. I know everyone has them. So may i ask, "How do you deal with distractions?".

This Writer's Condition

I just want to apologize up front if i offend anyone but i can think of no better term to describe my frustration over the last month or so. It is a condition that hits me ever so often and when it does all i can think is i am "mentally constipated". In my head are all these ideas and thoughts but it seems there is no way of expressing them. Most people would probably refer to this as writer's block but constipation seems more appropriate to me. It is as if all my senses shut down while my mind goes into hyper-drive. Whether i try to speak it or write it i am met only with more frustration. So last week my condition actually came to a point where i started to really feel sorry for myself. The "constipation" was affecting every area of my life and not only was i suffering but so was everyone else who was around me any length of time. The kids had a grumpy teacher and my husband had a miserable wife. What comforted me at this time was this Scripture: "Also, the Spirit helps us with our weakness. We do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit himself speaks to God for us, even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot explain." Romans 8:26 What a relief to know that even as i struggled to find the words to say to God, the Spirit was speaking for me! How many times have i just thrown my arms up and said, "God, i just don't know."? How many times did i go to bed asking Him to just get me through the night? And how many times was i able to rest even though i still had no answers and words seemed to fall flat? I cannot tell you. But i can tell you this, the Spirit spoke and God sustained me. The fog is slowly lifting. It has always been my experience that there are times of fog. At these times my vision is very limited and what i can see doesn't always make a lot of sense. What i am learning through the fog is that God is still in control and He can see right through the fog. Nothing is hidden from Him. And where is He? He is guiding me every step of the way!

11 Things

Old habits die hard...especially bad habits. I know this all too well. While my bad habits are too numerous to list here will say that the one habit i have battled long and hard is my bad habit of overeating. Whether i am happy, sad, excited or anxious my way of dealing with my emotions has always been to eat. More than once i have gained weight, lost it and kept it off for a while only to return to the old bad habit. What makes this habit worse is that by looking to food i am taking my eyes off of God. Food consumes my time, energy and thoughts. Until i bring all these things into God's submission i will never be the wife, mother, friend or artist He created me to be. I do believe this. And that is why i have created a list of things i can do instead of eating that will make better use of all that God has given me. This is just the beginning. I also believe that God has more in store for me as i learn to be obedient to Him: 1. Pray!! 2. Read. 3. Write. 4. Draw or paint. 5. Dance. 6. Get outside. 7. Take some pictures. 8. Walk. 9. Yardwork. 10. Play with the kids. 11. Talk with someone i love. These are all things i love to do anyway i just needed to make this list and remember it. That is why i am posting it here and will put it up in the house where i will see it often. The next time temptation strikes this will help.