How can I see God?

Day 2 of VBS has proven to be another day of fun and learning for the kids. Again they have come home, eager to share what they have learned. And once again i am amazed at their passion and excitement. This evening we sat down and reviewed the lesson as we did last evening. I look forward to these moments just as much as they do and we all walk away blessed.
Todays question is, "How can i see God?". The answer to the question is, "I see God through the love of others.". To illustrate, we looked at Acts 9:10-31. In this passage we see Ananias and later, Barnabas showing Saul/Paul such love as Saul proclaims the Gospel of those he once persecuted. It would probably be an understatement to say that Christians were very cautious of this man who had a reputation for wreaking havoc upon the church. They weren't so quick to accept that Saul was now one of them.
This is where Ananais and Barnabas come in. First, God sent Ananais to lay hands on Saul so that he would regain his sight. Ananais did question God at first but God persuaded him to go and he did. Later, as Saul attempted to join the disciples and they rejected him out of fear, it was Barnabas who took him and brought him before the apostles. Barnabas told them of Saul's conversion on the road to Damascus and how he since boldly proclaimed Jesus Christ. After hearing from Barnabas the apostles accepted Saul.
How often in our lives as Christians, are we asked to show love to someone we are not so sure about? Maybe it is someone we don't know so well. Or maybe it is someone who has a less than stellar reputation. Whatever the case, whoever the person, God loves them and He wants us to show His love. It usually isn't easy but it is always necessary.
We may not know what God's plan is but we can trust Him to do what is right. We can also trust Him to provide us with what we need as we need it but we must also be willing to recieve it. Am i trusting God enough to do what He is telling me to do? To love as He loves? Am i trusting Him for all my needs and am i coming to him with open arms or am i clenching my fists to beat the air in frustration?
A lot to think about as i get ready to turn in for the night...
But questions i truly want to answer honestly. I want to trust Him with ALL my heart.
I want others to see God through me.

Monday

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.  1 Timothy 4:12

Today was the first day of Vacation Bible School for Rachel and her brothers. It seems they had a really good time but more importantly, they learned some valuable lessons about God and who He is. I enjoyed listening as they shared from their Bible story for today: Acts 9:1-9, and look forward to hearing more as they return for more truth and fond memories.
Their memory verse for the week is 1 Timothy 4:12(cited above) and they already have it memorized. Tonight i had them write it down and we discussed what it meant to "be and an example in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity". Whether they realize it or not, i learn just as much from them as they learn from me...maybe even more at times. I am truly grateful for my children and the zeal they have for God. I pray that their passion continues to grow as they mature.
And i thank God for VBS. It may last a week but it leaves an impression that lasts a lifetime!

Looking Ahead

With the end of the school year only a couple of weeks away the kids and i are anticipating all the activites planned for this summer.
We will be starting the season with VBS and church camp. Then there is art camp, field trips and play dates with friends. There other activities we hope to participate in like reading programs, movies at the drive-in and bike rides in the park.
While these things are all good and i am really looking forward to all of them i do intend to start each day in quiet time and prayer. In the hours that the children are in VBS and other endeavors i plan to take advantage of the peace and quiet to spend time in meditation and reflection.
I am missing creative time as well. So much of my time in the last year has been spent running and doing. So little of my time has been spent just listening to God. It is time to slow down and change that. God is the One who inspires creativity and gives peace. Time without Him saps creativity and destroys peace.
What i desire more than anything else right now is to spend my time drawing closer to God, enjoying my relationship with Him and with others He has blessed my life with. In doing these things i know it is going to be a really great summer and an awesome time of growth in Him. I pray that i will stick to this plan and continue through every season of my life.

Strength in Struggle

Until last night it had been almost 9 months since my last post. Those months have been filled with all kinds activity pertaining to school, church and other pursuits. In some ways the days have flown by while in other ways it seemed the days would never end. Along the way i have learned some things about myself and witnessed the faithfulness of God-even when i have been less than faithful.

With only a few more weeks left of school i am looking forward to a break from class and studies. This will be the first summer in many years that i will not be teaching VBS. I will miss it but i do think i need the break. There are many things i want to work on in myself before starting a new school year. These are things that really need to be worked on and time needs to be taken to ensure that my best efforts are made.

I thank God for being so patient with me and lovingly showing me the weaknesses and hinderances that continually cause me to struggle. Only with His help can i effectively deal with these issues and only as i deal with them can i be of service to God and others.

In the days and weeks that follow i hope to document my progress in the hopes of encouraging others who may be struggling with similar issues. However God uses me and my story i know it will be for the best. Already He has used to encourage others who deal with depression, anxiety and perfectionism. So i am really looking forward to seeing how He uses me and strengthens me as i confess to Him and others my struggles with an eating disorder.

My hope is that whoever reads this will be strengthened and encouraged as God strengthens and encourages me.