Sometimes

Sometimes i question it, sometimes i doubt it; try as i might i can not figure it out. Sometimes i deny it, sometimes i fight it; yet nothing i do can ever change it. Sometimes i feel it so strong, sometimes i don’t feel it at all; regardless of how i feel it is always there. Sometimes i show it to others, sometimes i withhold it from the ones i should show it most; but whether i show it or not it is very real. It is Your love, Heavenly Father, that i sometimes question, sometimes doubt, sometimes deny and sometimes fight. When i do these things i am doing them unto You. But just as my feelings change from day to day, Your love is always the same. Forgive me, Father, and help me to show Your love to all people; even those who seem unlovable because You have always shown Your love to me.

The Bumble bee

The bumble bee seems so odd to me,

With a body so big and wings so small,

The bumble bee shouldn't fly at all.

But i guess no one ever told the bumble bee,

Or maybe it just never listened

To people like you and me,

Who said it could never be.

Whatever the reason,

I am glad to say,

The bumble bee does fly.

And with God's help,

So can you and I!

Father, I am beginning to know how much I miss when I fail to talk to thee in prayer, and through prayer to recieve into my life the strength and the guidance which only thou canst give. Forgive me for the pride and the presumption that make me continue to struggle to manage my own affairs to the exhaustion of my body, the weariness of my mind, the trial of my faith.
Let not, I pray, any future forgetfulness of mine, or a false sense of self-sufficiency, any spiritual laziness, or doubt of thy faithfulness keep me from taking everything to thee in prayer.
And now, I thank thee that the fresh breath of heaven is even now blowing away the close, damp air of all my failure, of every doubt and fear. I ask thee for that soul tonic of prayer that shall reburnish my faith, brighten my hope, revive and rekindle my love. In thy name, I pray. Amen.
Peter Marshall

My Last Post...for 2008, That is

As i mentioned in my last post, December has been a very busy month. What i did not mention is the challenge i accepted early this month and the spiritual attack that has come with that acceptance.
It has always been my desire to encourage others and openly share my struggles in the hope of helping others as they struggle too. On December 7 i was offered that opportunity. I was asked to facilitate a women's step study at my church. After talking it over with my husband and praying over it i gave my answer-yes! Since then i have been filled with such an odd mixture of excitement, fear and doubt. On the one hand, i do believe God has prepared me for such a moment as this. On the other hand, i remember all my failures and see all the room for improvement in my life. So this must be in some small way, how Moses felt when God confronted him and told him he was the one chosen to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land and Jeremiah when he was called to be a prophet. Not that i compare myself to these men but i do understand the feelings of inadequacey.
Then i think of my role as teacher and how i am forever learning as i teach the children. I expect my role as facilitator to be the same. God is not calling me to be perfect and to have all the answers. What He is calling me to do is to reach out to these women, love them and help them recognize God as their source of strength to overcome. And yes, throughout this process i will be learning and relearning...probably even more than i did when i went through the program myself last year.
In the meantime, i will be praying for the women who will be joining me this year as well as my co-facilitator-whoever she may be. I don't know yet but God does and i know He has us all covered.
Now, as i close this last post for 2008, i would like to wish everyone a blessed New Year and thank your for reading!