Nothing...Absolutely Nothing!

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans8:38-39

As well as i think i know myself-past and present-there is One who knows me like absolutely no one else can. He knows my past, present and future. Even in His unlimited knowledge of me He loves me still. God’s love for me is perfect and extravagant. He lavishes His love upon me!

Still, i doubt. Things i have said and done come back to haunt me. When these memories play in my head my heart begins to question how God could still love me. Somehow i can see how God might love others but not me.

It all boils down to pride in my heart. Yes, pride. At first i tried to deny it but the truth stared me in the eyes until i could deny it no more. In my pride i convinced myself that i was beyond God’s love and grace. I was basically calling Him a liar.

Now, as God has been showing me my selfish pride He has done it out of His faithful love. I don’t know how many times in the past few days He has brought me to Romans 8:38&39 but i have learned that when God continually brings certain Scripture or thoughts to my attention i better listen closely! And i am so glad i did because as i read and meditate on Romans 8:38&39 i too am convinced that NOTHING can seperate me from God’s unfailing love. Not even my failure or my foolish pride-NOTHING!!

Father, I am beginning to know how much I miss when I fail to talk to thee in prayer, and through prayer to recieve into my life the strength and the guidance which only thou canst give. Forgive me for the pride and the presumption that make me continue to struggle to manage my own affairs to the exhaustion of my body, the weariness of my mind, the trial of my faith.
Let not, I pray, any future forgetfulness of mine, or a false sense of self-sufficiency, any spiritual laziness, or doubt of thy faithfulness keep me from taking everything to thee in prayer.
And now, I thank thee that the fresh breath of heaven is even now blowing away the close, damp air of all my failure, of every doubt and fear. I ask thee for that soul tonic of prayer that shall reburnish my faith, brighten my hope, revive and rekindle my love. In thy name, I pray. Amen.
Peter Marshall

Praise the God of Opportunity

Tonight i had the honor of meeting two brave ladies who will be doing the step study with me starting next week. I would have missed this wonderful opportunity had i let the enemy convince me that it was not worth the trouble to get out in the rain and cold with four children to go into town for a couple of hours. Oh, he tried every trick in the book-i have come to expect this of him. He reminded me my failures today and told me how unworthy i was to be around people who desire change and did not need me to waste their time. After listening to the accusations and lies(why do i listen?) it finally ocurred to me that he was trying awful hard to prevent me from going so it must be very important that i do go. It was with prayer and supplication that i headed out the door and it is with thanksgiving and praise that i share this experience now.
What a shame it would have been to have missed out. What a blessing to have gone and met these wonderful women! Now i have two more names to mention in my prayers tonight and faces to match. Thank You, Father, for every time i have needed encouragement and affirmation You have provided.
Yes Lord, You ARE in control!

My Last Post...for 2008, That is

As i mentioned in my last post, December has been a very busy month. What i did not mention is the challenge i accepted early this month and the spiritual attack that has come with that acceptance.
It has always been my desire to encourage others and openly share my struggles in the hope of helping others as they struggle too. On December 7 i was offered that opportunity. I was asked to facilitate a women's step study at my church. After talking it over with my husband and praying over it i gave my answer-yes! Since then i have been filled with such an odd mixture of excitement, fear and doubt. On the one hand, i do believe God has prepared me for such a moment as this. On the other hand, i remember all my failures and see all the room for improvement in my life. So this must be in some small way, how Moses felt when God confronted him and told him he was the one chosen to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land and Jeremiah when he was called to be a prophet. Not that i compare myself to these men but i do understand the feelings of inadequacey.
Then i think of my role as teacher and how i am forever learning as i teach the children. I expect my role as facilitator to be the same. God is not calling me to be perfect and to have all the answers. What He is calling me to do is to reach out to these women, love them and help them recognize God as their source of strength to overcome. And yes, throughout this process i will be learning and relearning...probably even more than i did when i went through the program myself last year.
In the meantime, i will be praying for the women who will be joining me this year as well as my co-facilitator-whoever she may be. I don't know yet but God does and i know He has us all covered.
Now, as i close this last post for 2008, i would like to wish everyone a blessed New Year and thank your for reading!