Memories of Summertime

So my plans to paint this summer have fallen by the wayside. Blame it on the creek and the swim hole.
The kids and i have been enjoying the water almost every day, whenever the weather and schedules have permitted. While most people work in a garden i work on the creek, trimming branches and cutting weeds. My efforts have been rewarded with a beautiful place to spend many hours and make many precious memories with family and friends. I cannot complain.
My watercolors are in the same exact spot i left them earlier in the spring. They will be there when the time is right and i can start painting. Maybe then i can paint from memory butterflies, dragonflies and lazy days on the creek enjoying God's creation and the company of loved ones.
Those will be the best paintings because they will remind me of what awaits me next year and fill me with hope during winter's cold.

She's Growing up!

It doesn't seem long ago but according to the calendar it will be ten years tomorrow. Tonight my little girl went to bed a nine year old, in the morning she will awake a ten year old!

As we all sleep the hour will strike midnight and at eleven minutes past the midnight hour, Rachel will enter her tenth year of life. While we will not stay up to commemorate the exact hour we do plan to enjoy the day and the rest of the weekend.

Tomorrow night we will celebrate with friends. Slumber party!! So we could possibly be up tomorrow night. You know how girls can be when they get together...

Saturday night we will celebrate with Jeremy's parents. Of course her cousins will be there and Gigi will be making the cake.

We hope to make it to my parent's on Sunday. I'll be making the cake then and there will be more cousins to visit with.

The next few days look to be busy ones but i know a certain little girl (who really isn't so little anymore) who is really looking forward friends, family, ice cream and birthday cake. I also know a certain mama who is looking forward to watching her daughter enjoy her big day and there may be some tears in her eyes as she remembers the little girl and anticipates the future of this beautiful ten year old while savoring every moment God gives us together...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL!!!

I LOVE YOU!

Thank You

If i were to list the names of friends and the many ways they have encouraged me these past few weeks i could go on and on. God has blessed me with a great group of ladies who have prayed for me, supported me and hugged me when i needed it most. He has surrounded me with His love inside the home with a loving, supportive husband and children. They all share my excitement in this new endeavor and let me know they are praying for me everyday. There is not a day that goes by that someone doesn't send an email or speak to me personally to say they are praying or that they are proud that i am following what i truly believe to be God's will for me.
I only wish i knew how to show my friends and family how much i appreciate all that they do for me. One thing i can say, i thank God for you all and i pray for you too.

Monday Reflection

Today is Monday...again. The day i look back on the previous week and ask myself what i need to do differently for the following week. Sometimes my list is brief, sometimes it can be quite exhaustive. Sometimes i follow through, sometimes i have to make the same mistakes again before i finally get my act together. Yes, Monday is my day of reflection. It is good to have this often because my memory can be so short at times, especially when it comes to an honest evaluation of myself. In my time of reflection, i try to look at every area of my life: Am i being the wife and mother i need to be? What kind of teacher have i been(in and out of the classroom)? Have i been a good friend? How much time am i spending with God and in His Word? How i answer those first three questions rely heavily on how i answer the fourth question. If i get a negative answer on that one then all my other answers are going to be negative as well. I wish i could say i am disciplined and faithful when it comes to spending time in His presence and studying the Bible but the truth is i am not. Too often i let the very things that He wants to help me with get in the way of that time. Things like busyness,stress and feelings of unworthiness distract me to the point that they consume every bit of me. I do not like the person i am away from God. I am weak,selfish,easily angered,fearful...the list goes on and it does not get any better. It is in my time with God that i am strengthened,encouraged and filled with peace. This list also continues and inspires me to get up in the morning even though my body is telling me to stay where it is nice and warm and where i might get a few more moments of sleep. My soul is needing rest and nourishment. As long as i am recieving that from my Heavenly Father i can face whatever comes my way throughout the day. Well, that has been my reflection for this Monday morning. Thanks for letting me share with you. Hope we all spend more time with God this week.

About Friends and Flowers

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Last night i did something i don't normally do. I stood up two very good friends(Sorry, Buffie and Tonya). But before i comitted this horrendous act they gave me their blessings and assured me that we are still friends(Thanks, Buffie and Tonya). For at least two weeks we had been planning to take a certain Bible study together. Then, at the last minute, a new class was added to the roster. The name of the study is "When Wallflowers Dance" by Angela Thomas and it is one that i have been hoping for since i first heard of it. When i found the book a couple of months ago in a bookstore Jeremy bought it for me. Unfortunately, i have not had a chance to read it yet. With homeschooling and other commitments, finding time to read has become difficult. In fact, i am still in the fifth chapter of "The Creative Call". I believe these two studies are going to compliment each other so i am looking forward to getting into both. While "The Creative Call" is about realizing and developing your creativity, "When Wallfowers Dance" is about helping women overcome the hurt and disappointments of life to become the passionate women that God created us to be. He is the One who is inviting us to this dance. In the coming weeks i hope to share with you how God is guiding me through these studies and how i am becoming the creative, dancing woman God always intended me to be. I also anticipate hearing how Buffie and Tonya learn and grow in their Bible study. Thank God for good and faithful friends. Love you both!

What the Sunrise Taught me

I have a very busy weekend ahead. Rachel's slumber party is tonight, we are going to a picnic tomorrow afternoon, friends are coming by tomorrow evening and family will be visiting on Sunday. Though i am looking forward to the times of fellowship with friends and family i am also intimidated by my "to do" list for the coming days. This morning as i was going over my mental checklist and pouring my heart out to God i noticed an orange glow coming from behind me. I turned to see the sun rising above the hill down the road from the house. Though it only took a couple of minutes to rise above the hill and the trees there was never a moment where it seemed rushed. My eyes were on the sun that whole time but before i knew it it was illuminating the sky. In this moment i was assured that the same caring Creator who orchestrates the sun's ascension in the morning also lovingly directs my steps throughout the days. That knowledge fills me with such peace as i once again review my to do list and anticipate the weekend ahead.

Facing the Fear

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The old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for you just might get it." Well, the same can be said for prayer. "Be careful what you pray for you just might get it." This is so true for me right now. My prayer has been that God would help me confront my fears and with His help work through them. Since i have been saying this prayer God has continually been calling me out of my comfort zone. In one of my earlier posts i shared how fear has controlled me for so long. Since sharing that God has showed me just how much control i have given fear in my life. My first reaction is regret, then shame and then anger. With all these emotions building up inside i have turned to another old "frienemy", food. Prayer has become more difficult. Most days all i know to say is, "Help me, God." For awhile i believed God was cleaning His hands of me and turning me over to the sin i want so badly want to be freed of but lack the courage and faith to give over to Him. God is proving me wrong there. Instead, He is showing me how badly He disires my freedom as well. God has never stopped caring. He has never stopped listening and God has never stopped loving me. His love for me has never been based on my love for me or anyone else's love for me. What God is doing is preparing me and allowing me to see just how destructive my sin really is and in the process teaching me to lean on Him. I have tried so hard all my life to be strong on my own and hidden from everyone how insecure and frightened i really am. This has only made me weaker and more vulnerable. Now God is telling me to take down the walls and remove the masks. It isn't easy but He is getting me through. God is working on me. He tells me i am worth the time and He is redeeming the time i have wasted. In just the past couple of days God has called me to share with a close friend and with someone else i am only beginning to know,someone who has reached out to me and shown friendship despite the fact she hardly knows me. For these women i am very thankful and it is God to whom i am most grateful. No, He has not given up on me. And He asks that i do not give up either. Whatever He calls me to do in overcoming my fears it is by His strength i can do it!