Looking Ahead

With the end of the school year only a couple of weeks away the kids and i are anticipating all the activites planned for this summer.
We will be starting the season with VBS and church camp. Then there is art camp, field trips and play dates with friends. There other activities we hope to participate in like reading programs, movies at the drive-in and bike rides in the park.
While these things are all good and i am really looking forward to all of them i do intend to start each day in quiet time and prayer. In the hours that the children are in VBS and other endeavors i plan to take advantage of the peace and quiet to spend time in meditation and reflection.
I am missing creative time as well. So much of my time in the last year has been spent running and doing. So little of my time has been spent just listening to God. It is time to slow down and change that. God is the One who inspires creativity and gives peace. Time without Him saps creativity and destroys peace.
What i desire more than anything else right now is to spend my time drawing closer to God, enjoying my relationship with Him and with others He has blessed my life with. In doing these things i know it is going to be a really great summer and an awesome time of growth in Him. I pray that i will stick to this plan and continue through every season of my life.

What to do?

Finally. A few moments of peace and quiet at the end of what has been a busy day in the midst of a hectic week.
It is during the crazy times such as this that i long for a less demanding schedule. But then i wonder what i would do if i had nowhere to go and nothing pressing to do.
Tonight was the last of the children's soccer games and next week will be our last week of school. It is difficult to say who is more excited, the children or me.
We all have some pretty big plans for our summer vacation. To keep our minds sharp we will continue our studies without the structured classroom setting. Trips to the library, parks and other places will provide nice, stimulating outings when we need them. There is also a week of VBS that everyone is looking forward to.
I am hoping to make lots of pictures and paint some masterpieces! I'm just kidding about the masterpieces but i am hoping to break out the paper, pencils and watercolors and see what kind of creations come from the inner artist who is screaming to be let out. My reading list is also growing and i want to start reading some of the many titles collecting on that list. I would also like to start writing and blogging again regularly. There is way too much on my mind to keep it all locked up inside.
Well, with all the plans we have summer should be anything but dull. And you know how plans are...there are sure to be some surprises along the way. The next few weeks should be interesting and i am looking forward to making the most of every one of them!

God's Reminders

It has been a month of ups(birthdays and celebration)and downs(sinus infections,sore throats and raspy voices). It has been a month of highs(in the 70's)and lows(in the teens). It has also been a month of lots of running and lots of rain. In all this hustle and bustle we have even managed to strip the kitchen floor of 3 layers of linoleum and finish the living room remodel...for the most part anyway. As much as i hate to admit it we did not get the Christmas tree up until Tuesday of last week.
Just recounting the events of the last four weeks wearies me. No wonder my mood has so often matched the weather that has dominated these days, gray and dark. Anyone reading this can imagine how busy i have been. Unfortunately in my busyness i have neglected my quiet time in the mornings, opting instead to roll back over in the comfort of my nice warm bed. It doesn't take too many mornings of this before anxiety and the feelings of overwhelm set in.
One night, before crawling in bed exhausted, i prayed and asked God to remind me of my need of Him to help me get up in the morning and back into His presence. Suddenly it hit me...that is what He was doing all along! All the anxiety and depression, all the feelings of being overwhelmed-all were reminders of the relationship i was neglecting-my relationship with my Heavenly Father. The two weeks since haven't always been easy but they have been rewarding as my quiet time has resumed and God is preparing me each day for whatever comes my way.
My days are still filled with activity. That may never change. But what has changed is my attitude and the way i face life's challenges. What is making that change is the few moments of quiet before the start of each day when i sit in the Father's presence and He fills me with His peace. I am so grateful for God's little reminders and pray i do not forget.

Distractions

The evidence of distraction is showing in my journal these days. Many days i have written nothing at all. Other days my writing is incomplete. Evidence of distraction is showing in other places as well. Perhaps the most obvious to everyone are the baskets of laundry that dot the dining room like a small mountain range. The clothes are clean, they just need to be folded and put in their proper places. This is not what i anticipated when Jeremy and i decided that i would be a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama. Niether did i anticipate the long, drawn out process of home remodeling. There are other distractions too, but the remodel is probably the biggest at this time and it is the one that affects the whole family most of all. Right now there are parts of our house that look like a winter wonderland but it is not snow that covers our walls and floors. It is sheetrock dust. Not only is this dust white like snow, it accumalates like snow and covers anything that is not covered. In fact, i have found dust in places i thought were protected. Wherever there is dust there is sneezing and dry eyes. I don't know if this has caused the rawness in my throat but i am sure it has contributed. All this coughing and sneezing has provided another distraction. This has also tired me to the point that i am ready to get in bed after lunch most days. Even though i have been going to bed earlier at night getting up in the morning is proving to be a challenge. The bed is so warm, the air is so cool and i am so tired. The perpetual to-do list in my head reminds me that i have no time for loafing, that i need to get rolling. Once i am out of bed i do have my quiet time even if it is only 10 minutes and from there it is breakfast and a few minutes of Wii fit then a shower. School consumes the next few hours until lunch. After lunch is prepared, eaten and cleared away it is housework, laundry and errand running. The day goes so quickly and there is no slowing down. The kids are in bed at 9 and for an hour i try to unwind by reading or praying but then there are those distractions again. Endless thoughts of what happened today and what needs to be done tomorrow. Distractions! They come in so many forms and steal so much of my time. I know everyone has them. So may i ask, "How do you deal with distractions?".

Improvements Needed

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1 What areas do you need to improve upon? I have to admit when i got to this part of the challenge i lost some of my enthusiasm. In my stinking perfectionist thinking i hear the word improvement and my first thought is, "You're no good.". Now perfectionism can affect a person in one of two ways: it will either push you into over-achieving or cause you to shrink in fear that you will never be good enough. I fall into the latter category. So number one on my list of improvements to be made is my way of thinking. Instead of looking inward i need to be looking upward. Number two on my list involves the use of time. I can be very selfish with my time. After homeschooling in the morning, cooking and cleaning in the afternoons and washing throughout the day all i want to do with whatever time is left is check my email, look at Facebook or blog. Most days that is how i "connect" with others. When i feel lonely, anxious or depressed i turn to food to numb these emotions. One way or the other i feel like i am going to explode. At least an escape to the computer keeps me out of the kitchen...for awhile. Guess you have figured out number three! Number four would probably be learning to be still. That's another hard one for me. I have been accused more than once of having ADD and OCD. What does that tell you? Organization also comes to mind. I have never been accused of being organized. People with organizational skills astound me. How i wish some of that skill would rub off on me! And number six? Getting to bed earlier! All these improvements require discipline-number seven. This is where perfectionism can kick in and i can throw my hands in the air and say, "I'll never get it!". But i don't want to do that anymore. Instead i will refer to a church sign i spotted yesterday as i drove home from an errand, "When you are through improving, you are through". Could this be what the writer of Hebrews was talking about? If we are to finish this race on top aren't we continually making the necessary improvements to get there? Life is about improving but we can not make those improvements on our own. God shows us where we need to improve and then He says, "Let Me help you." Thank you, Father, for showing me, Your child, the areas of needed improvement in my life. Help me to run this race with endurance.

Monday Reflection

Today is Monday...again. The day i look back on the previous week and ask myself what i need to do differently for the following week. Sometimes my list is brief, sometimes it can be quite exhaustive. Sometimes i follow through, sometimes i have to make the same mistakes again before i finally get my act together. Yes, Monday is my day of reflection. It is good to have this often because my memory can be so short at times, especially when it comes to an honest evaluation of myself. In my time of reflection, i try to look at every area of my life: Am i being the wife and mother i need to be? What kind of teacher have i been(in and out of the classroom)? Have i been a good friend? How much time am i spending with God and in His Word? How i answer those first three questions rely heavily on how i answer the fourth question. If i get a negative answer on that one then all my other answers are going to be negative as well. I wish i could say i am disciplined and faithful when it comes to spending time in His presence and studying the Bible but the truth is i am not. Too often i let the very things that He wants to help me with get in the way of that time. Things like busyness,stress and feelings of unworthiness distract me to the point that they consume every bit of me. I do not like the person i am away from God. I am weak,selfish,easily angered,fearful...the list goes on and it does not get any better. It is in my time with God that i am strengthened,encouraged and filled with peace. This list also continues and inspires me to get up in the morning even though my body is telling me to stay where it is nice and warm and where i might get a few more moments of sleep. My soul is needing rest and nourishment. As long as i am recieving that from my Heavenly Father i can face whatever comes my way throughout the day. Well, that has been my reflection for this Monday morning. Thanks for letting me share with you. Hope we all spend more time with God this week.