Man's Anger and God's Righteousness

“My dearly loved brothers, understand this: everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.” James 1:19 20

There is no grace in anger. When we act in anger we are hearing only our own prideful voices telling us that we have been done wrong and someone must pay. Our tongues and sometimes our hands become instruments of destruction. When all is said and done the pain remains. There may be no physical evidence but there are scars just the same. Though we may ask for and recieve forgiveness we cannot change what has been done. Our words come back to haunt and to taunt. The ghosts visit both giver and reciever of the angry exchange.
If we are to accomplish God’s righteousness we must not act in anger. Things happen and we all get angry at times. Sometimes our anger is even justified but we are never justified when we react in anger. We are so quick to give a piece of our minds we lose our peace of mind. That is why we are told to use our ears before we use our mouths. When we take the time to listen to the Voice of Truth-God, the anger is lessened and He shows us a better way to deal with our emotions. He can even show us the other side of the issue so instead of compulsion we feel compassion for those who offended us. God will also show us when our anger is not justified. No one wants to hear when they are wrong but it is necessary that we know. It is also necessary to know that when God rebukes us He also gives us a resolution. It may not be easy(it usually isn’t) but if we just do it God’s way we will accomplish His righteousness.

Write From the Heart

Watching the fog roll in tonight with the children made me think of the mental fog that has been clouding my view for much too long. For months now i have been overwhelmed by events that have taken place in my life, busy with demands on my time(most of these demands are self-imposed, by the way) and confused by all my crazy conflicting emotions. It is no coincidence that i have not journaled consistently in months. Journaling is a very important part of my life. It is my prayer time. When i try to get down on my knees and speak my prayers i am so easily distracted and soon give up but when i get by myself for awhile and start writing my prayers, the words flow and it is not a monologue. As i write i am also listening. I truly feel God's presence as i journal. Many times i will fill several pages before i am done. Regardless of how i feel when i start to write i always feel at peace by the time i am done. It reminds me so much of the Psalms. I have always appreciated how the psalmist may have started out frustrated,depressed or angry but by the end of the Psalm he is singing God's praises. How beautiful! And how much like my own life i want that to be. To know that whatever i am facing in life i can take it to my Heavenly Father and He will hear me,love me and fill me with His peace. The situation may not go away and i may not have any answers but the One who does know gives me just what i need to stand firm. Back to the fog, after thinking these things over in my head, i dug up my journal and pen,closed myself inside my bedroom and started writing. It was kind of slow at first but i just poured my heart out to God and told Him of my anxieties and how i felt lonely,like giving up. With that out of my head and down on paper, God lifted the fog that has hindered me for so long. Hallejuah! Three pages later, as i finished writing, i made a promise to God not to let myself become so lost in thought that i feel i am drowning before i write again. Since writing is prayer for me i commit to do it everyday and more than just once a day. However He leads me i will write.

Monday Reflection

Today is Monday...again. The day i look back on the previous week and ask myself what i need to do differently for the following week. Sometimes my list is brief, sometimes it can be quite exhaustive. Sometimes i follow through, sometimes i have to make the same mistakes again before i finally get my act together. Yes, Monday is my day of reflection. It is good to have this often because my memory can be so short at times, especially when it comes to an honest evaluation of myself. In my time of reflection, i try to look at every area of my life: Am i being the wife and mother i need to be? What kind of teacher have i been(in and out of the classroom)? Have i been a good friend? How much time am i spending with God and in His Word? How i answer those first three questions rely heavily on how i answer the fourth question. If i get a negative answer on that one then all my other answers are going to be negative as well. I wish i could say i am disciplined and faithful when it comes to spending time in His presence and studying the Bible but the truth is i am not. Too often i let the very things that He wants to help me with get in the way of that time. Things like busyness,stress and feelings of unworthiness distract me to the point that they consume every bit of me. I do not like the person i am away from God. I am weak,selfish,easily angered,fearful...the list goes on and it does not get any better. It is in my time with God that i am strengthened,encouraged and filled with peace. This list also continues and inspires me to get up in the morning even though my body is telling me to stay where it is nice and warm and where i might get a few more moments of sleep. My soul is needing rest and nourishment. As long as i am recieving that from my Heavenly Father i can face whatever comes my way throughout the day. Well, that has been my reflection for this Monday morning. Thanks for letting me share with you. Hope we all spend more time with God this week.

Facing the Fear

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The old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for you just might get it." Well, the same can be said for prayer. "Be careful what you pray for you just might get it." This is so true for me right now. My prayer has been that God would help me confront my fears and with His help work through them. Since i have been saying this prayer God has continually been calling me out of my comfort zone. In one of my earlier posts i shared how fear has controlled me for so long. Since sharing that God has showed me just how much control i have given fear in my life. My first reaction is regret, then shame and then anger. With all these emotions building up inside i have turned to another old "frienemy", food. Prayer has become more difficult. Most days all i know to say is, "Help me, God." For awhile i believed God was cleaning His hands of me and turning me over to the sin i want so badly want to be freed of but lack the courage and faith to give over to Him. God is proving me wrong there. Instead, He is showing me how badly He disires my freedom as well. God has never stopped caring. He has never stopped listening and God has never stopped loving me. His love for me has never been based on my love for me or anyone else's love for me. What God is doing is preparing me and allowing me to see just how destructive my sin really is and in the process teaching me to lean on Him. I have tried so hard all my life to be strong on my own and hidden from everyone how insecure and frightened i really am. This has only made me weaker and more vulnerable. Now God is telling me to take down the walls and remove the masks. It isn't easy but He is getting me through. God is working on me. He tells me i am worth the time and He is redeeming the time i have wasted. In just the past couple of days God has called me to share with a close friend and with someone else i am only beginning to know,someone who has reached out to me and shown friendship despite the fact she hardly knows me. For these women i am very thankful and it is God to whom i am most grateful. No, He has not given up on me. And He asks that i do not give up either. Whatever He calls me to do in overcoming my fears it is by His strength i can do it!

Get Understanding!

"He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly." Proverbs 14:29 "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression." Proverbs 19:11 Until i read these verses from my devotion time this morning i never really thought to link my lack of understanding to my lack of patience. Now i wonder why. It makes all the sense in the world! Anger is like prejudice, they are both rooted in misunderstanding. What usually causes me to lose my patience? When the kids ask me questions i cannot answer and i believe i should be able to answer, that makes me angry. And though i am not angry at them they are the ones who see and hear my frustration. When something doesn't work like it should, say a computer, vehicle or appliance, if i can't figure out for myself why it doesn't work i become angry. Patience never has been one of my greatest virtues and i see now that it is related to the fact that i have always felt there is more to my being here than what i am experiencing. Though i know God created me with a purpose and a plan i have always tried to play it safe, never getting too far from my comfort zone. Now i am seeing that my comfort zone may be comfortable but it isn't healthy. As long as i stay here i will continue to lack understanding. As long as i lack understanding i lack patience. I can no longer be content to play it safe. It has never really brought me contentment anyway. For that i must turn to God who gives me the understanding i need to be all that He created me to be. Only then will the anger subside.