How can I see God?

Day 2 of VBS has proven to be another day of fun and learning for the kids. Again they have come home, eager to share what they have learned. And once again i am amazed at their passion and excitement. This evening we sat down and reviewed the lesson as we did last evening. I look forward to these moments just as much as they do and we all walk away blessed.
Todays question is, "How can i see God?". The answer to the question is, "I see God through the love of others.". To illustrate, we looked at Acts 9:10-31. In this passage we see Ananias and later, Barnabas showing Saul/Paul such love as Saul proclaims the Gospel of those he once persecuted. It would probably be an understatement to say that Christians were very cautious of this man who had a reputation for wreaking havoc upon the church. They weren't so quick to accept that Saul was now one of them.
This is where Ananais and Barnabas come in. First, God sent Ananais to lay hands on Saul so that he would regain his sight. Ananais did question God at first but God persuaded him to go and he did. Later, as Saul attempted to join the disciples and they rejected him out of fear, it was Barnabas who took him and brought him before the apostles. Barnabas told them of Saul's conversion on the road to Damascus and how he since boldly proclaimed Jesus Christ. After hearing from Barnabas the apostles accepted Saul.
How often in our lives as Christians, are we asked to show love to someone we are not so sure about? Maybe it is someone we don't know so well. Or maybe it is someone who has a less than stellar reputation. Whatever the case, whoever the person, God loves them and He wants us to show His love. It usually isn't easy but it is always necessary.
We may not know what God's plan is but we can trust Him to do what is right. We can also trust Him to provide us with what we need as we need it but we must also be willing to recieve it. Am i trusting God enough to do what He is telling me to do? To love as He loves? Am i trusting Him for all my needs and am i coming to him with open arms or am i clenching my fists to beat the air in frustration?
A lot to think about as i get ready to turn in for the night...
But questions i truly want to answer honestly. I want to trust Him with ALL my heart.
I want others to see God through me.

If

Staring ahead, seeing nothing. Surrounded by sounds but i don’t hear anything. The sun is shining but i don’t recieve it’s warmth. Thoughts flood my mind but i refuse to think. If i see…if i hear…if i recieve…if i think…then i feel. If i feel i will hurt and if i hurt…i become vulnerable. If i trust You with the hurt will You earn my faith…or will You turn me away? Is Your love truly greater than my sin? My hurt? My shame? Will Your love be enough to take away my fear?

”Look around and see the love I show you. Listen closely and you will hear My voice calling to you. (Rev. 3:20) Accept My grace and let the hardness of your heart melt away. (Ez. 11:19) Bring your thoughts to me and I will give you a new way of thinking. (Col. 3:2) If you see…if you hear…if you recieve…if you think…then you will feel. If you let Me, I will heal your hurt. (Luke 4:18) Be vulnerable with Me. I’ll never let you down or turn you away. My love is so great nothing can seperate my love from you. No sin…No hurt…No shame. (Romans 8:38&39) My love is perfect and perfect love drives out fear. (1 Jn. 4:18) If you accept My love as truth the truth will set you free! “(Jn. 8:32)

Let it be

Whatever it takes, Lord, to draw me closer to You; let it be. Wherever the road takes me, as long as You guide me; let it be. Whenever it takes silence to lead me to Your presence, let it be. However You reach me and use me help me to trust You enough to say, “Lord, let it be.”

An Artist's Prayer

"When God sends His inspiration, it comes to us with such miraculous power that we are able to "arise from the dead" and do the impossible. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that life and power come after we "get up and get going". God does not give us overcoming life-He gives us life as we overcome."-Oswald Chambers What do i need to practice my art? Courage? Courage comes from trust. If i truly trust in You courage replaces the fear. Right? When the fear comes i should trust You enough to give them to You. Then even if i don't feel artistic or creative i do it anyway in the belief that You are who You say You are and i am who You say i am. You are the God of all creation of which i am a part. To mankind You have given artistic talents and the ability to create. I will choose to believe that and i choose to believe that You have told me i am an artist. Now i must make the choice to practice my art even when i don't see it myself. In the past i have just given up but You have always given me some kind of creative outlet: calligraphy,crafts,writing,photography,cooking,cake decorating...so many outlets but i have been too blind to see them as artistry. Thank You, Father, for keeping the creativity in my life even when i took it for granted. When i am being creative i feel so energized, inspired and now i am seeing that is because being creative is what You have given me to do. However You want me to use it, help me to see. For Your glory Lord, amen.

As I Wait...

Though i am thoroughly convinced i am in waiting right now i'm not so sure exactly what it is i am waiting for but i feel it involves writing, photography, creativity and maybe even speaking. How can i make such a claim when at first i say i am not sure? I can say it because i have always dreamed of it and desired it while at the same time fearing it and believing i could never do it. Let's face it, i am not much of a talker. I get lost in a crowd and i am forever struggling with loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. Then there is also the overwhelming fear of failure. And as much as i hate to admit it, i deal with an eating disorder, or food addiction. Whatever you call it i've got it and have had it for as long as i can remember. To say i am dealing with it actually is not true. A more accurate statement would be, i give into it. I pray about it, ask forgiveness for it, promise not give in so easily but continue to fail every time. My prayer now goes like this: "God, i want to make the promise to stay in Your arms but the crushing reality of all my broken promises in the past prevent me from making any such bold claims now. Please forgive me for my failures and lack of trust. Help me to choose faithfulness and to remain faithful as You are faithful to me." So what does this have to do with my present wait? Everything! Week 5 of "When Wallflowers Dance" is titled, "Until It's Your Turn" and it deals with the whole subject of waiting. Day 2 of week 5 instructs the reader to entrust and trust. We are to entrust to God whatever we consider valuable in our lives. Why is it so hard for me to entrust Him with my hopes and dreams, loneliness, fears, addiction and longing for friendship? When will i learn to stop looking for clarity and just trust Him? I believe that is where i am in this wait right now. Learning to entrust and trust. Unfortunately it feels my failure keeps sending me back to the end of the line. God asks me to wait patiently. If i am to do that i must trust Him completely; His purposes, His plans, His promises and His timing. To this i cry out, "Lord, help my unbelief!".